PERCEPTIVE INSIGHTS ON MEANINGFUL LIVING

One simple reason.

I got sick and tired (literally).

Just last week I was completely ill, felt like an 80-year-old man, everything ached so badly. Couldn’t believe it. Anyway, now I’m on my way to recovery…

…And I don’t want to use this post to get pity from you.

Far from it.

I used my time wisely (or that’s at least what I’d like to believe!) to get clear on what I really want out of life. What is it? Truth be told, I’m not happy with my recent performance—be it at work, at home, in my private life, or in my social life. Well, I admit; I’m never truly satisfied. That’s the curse when you tend to be a maniac perfectionist like I am:

You take yourself way too seriously.

You start overthinking shit.

You feel overwhelmed.

On the flipside, however, it also helps you improve your life since you’re seeing beyond your mere existence as a human being. You look for your life purpose. While this is such an overused buzzword (“life purpose”); it still builds the foundation for a meaningful life. Without purpose, without direction there is no hope to live a fulfilled, inspired, and—yes—meaningful life. Ever.

How do I know?

I don’t know.

But what I know is that the moments when I felt most grateful have been those where I’m myself. When I’m not pretending to be someone I’m not, when I’m doing stuff I enjoy doing (like writing this right now to you), and when I don’t worry about what others may think of me.

The list goes on…

So let’s break it down. I took 10 days off of my blogging schedule to take a step back. In order to painfully come to the conclusion that I went off-track, and needed to focus on what’s essential again: Doing work that matters.

Nothing else.

Just that.

Ok more tomorrow.

In the meantime, feel free to subscribe to the Journey Newsletter below. I highly recommend you do it now:

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About a year ago I went to the baker.

It was what seemed an ordinary day. Sunny outside, nice blue sky with only a few clouds. Then, suddenly, it happened…

He is dead.

Car accident.

Out of a sudden.

I couldn’t believe it!

Well I don’t believe it 100 percent yet, since it might not be him. What happened at the bakery was the following. I ran into a disabled person who thought he might know me. He asked me about where I went to school and when I graduated. A lot of the things he then told me about the dead guy were pretty accurate; except the name everything else matched perfectly. He even told me where his dead body was buried, but I couldn’t find him.

Anyway, here’s the gist of today’s story.

We hear about so much trauma, tragedy, triumphs, and all that stuff in the media. However, when it directly enters our world it becomes a complete different dimension. I experienced it first-hand many times already, and I bet you did too.

So what now?

No matter what, we are still alive. You see? You, me, the other people around you. Life has to go on.

Yes we need to make time to grieve.

Yes we need to make time to feel sorrow.

Yes we need to make time to recover well.

But there comes the time, where we know we got to move on.

Deal with it.

I’m serious.

You can’t reverse time or get more of it.

You can only make the best of it.

OK after I accidentally deleted this post, let’s start anew.

3, 2, 1, go!

Just last week…

…We finally got it done.

The best parents in the world visited me for the first time after my move to Berlin in 2017. I’m endlessly grateful for the fact that we’re having such a great relationship over the years—no matter how many kilometers/miles have separated us (no matter what difficulties we faced together).

It hasn’t always been easy, but I couldn’t ask for more. And I don’t take it for granted. When you’re struggling through a difficult period in your life, and you know your family and friends got your back… that they get behind you and support you in whatever it is you’re doing/facing right now… is priceless.

Money is nice. But no amount of money can replace these precious relationships. If I was offered such a deal I would always decline.

Always.

I hope the same applies to your life.

Don’t let anyone define what you are worth or what you are capable of achieving.

Other people know shit about you—including me.

I’ve no idea who you are (given you’re not a close friend of mine/a relative). Hence, I’m not here to give you “life advice.”

None of this do-this-dont-do-that-kind-of-bullshit you read in the typical success, motivation or self-help space. I’m not here to sell you something; I’m here to sell you on a free concept—that you can either adopt, or not. It’s this.

You are responsible for your own life.

Period.

Many people won’t accept this fact, and that’s totally OK as long as they are happy. However, many of them are not. Many of them wish to improve their lives… yet when you look at the actions they’ve taken so far, you see a different picture. Meaning most people have great ideas and ambitions; unfortunately they don’t follow through because of this one nagging feeling they have that holds them back:

Fear.

Fear of failure. Fear of the unknown. Fear of pain. Fear of rejection. And on, and on, and on it goes. Just google the word “fear.” You’ll find all kind of fears that keep holding you back.

The solution?

How to break through this fear once and for all?

How to do that?

Simple. (Not easy.)

Take massive action, confront what you’re afraid of, keep going no matter how you feel, and don’t give a shit about the results you’re getting. That means if your goal is to be comfortable to, let’s say, speak in front of an audience; chances are high you’re going to suck in the beginning.

You don’t have developed the skill of public speaking yet, and you don’t have enough positive reference experiences. You might also not have enough support and it all seems too much of a challenge to you.

So you got to begin small (with the big vision in mind, for example, becoming a professional speaker). You got to surround yourself with uplifting people who support you on your journey. Last but not least, you got to embrace the process and enjoy the journey. That’s vital.

See life as your playground because it is. Every single day we get so many opportunities to improve our lives and our skills. Every new day let’s us experiment, try things out, grow.

I say, “Let’s do this!”

Fuck…

If I knew this earlier, I’d be so much further ahead in life!

For me, “further” means living life on my terms (not further ahead in terms of climbing a ladder or showing off how great I am—not my cup of coffee as you know). True validation is self-validation from within.

It has been so heartbreaking to see myself crushing it in my peak hours of the day (afternoon, evening, and night time)… only to get crushed during daytime—I went online and asked “DocGog” (Google).

Thanks to this one Google search, I finally came across the term I’ve suffered from the majority of my life:

Morning depression.

The difference between MD (my very own abbreviation for morning depression) and normal depression (which I suffered from for seven years; 2007-2013) is that it only comes up in the morning. Throughout the day I’ve designed my life so I stay on track and motivated enough to get shit done.

I digress.

Here are a few symptoms¹:

• trouble waking up and getting out of bed in the morning
• a profound lack of energy when you start your day
• difficulty facing simple tasks, such as showering or making coffee
• delayed physical or cognitive functioning (“thinking through a fog”)
• inattentiveness or a lack of concentration
• intense agitation or frustration
• lack of interest in once-pleasurable activities
• feelings of emptiness
• changes in appetite (usually eating more or less than usual)
• hypersomnia (sleeping longer than normal)

Et cetera.

The cure?

According to research, you should reset your natural body clock.

The circadian rhythm, or natural body clock, regulates everything from heart rate to body temperature. It also affects energy, thinking, alertness, and mood. These daily rhythms help you keep a stable mood and stay in good health.²

How?

While the article from Healthline recommends you do medication/talk and light therapy/ECT; here’s my approach (knowing what I now know).

Cutting out everything from my life that doesn’t serve the purpose of living life the fucking way I want to.

This includes (in no specific order):

• Quitting porn
• Minimizing video games
• No binge-watching of TV series/YouTube videos any longer
• Going to bed earlier by scheduling a specific bedtime and sticking with it (plus avoiding blue light at night)
• Reducing alcohol/caffeine intake

Instead:

• Journaling more often
• Visualizing my goals and the painful process (embracing the struggle)
• Meditating daily
• Getting a gym membership and going to the gym 3 times a week
• Practicing gratitude again
• Having a bigger breakfast every single day(!)
• And some more….

It’s a lot.

Let’s see how it goes.

I’ll keep you updated.

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¹ ² https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/morning-depression