http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuT1yjRMk0A?rel=0&
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[HSP Stress] 5 TIPS ON WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU’RE FEELING EMPTY INSIDE!
This week’s episode of “The Highly Sensitive Journey” is about what do you do when you feel empty inside.
We all know how it feels.
You’ve no drive, passion … nothings motivating you, and worst:
Nothing seems to make sense.
I, certainly, have been in this place.
Feeling depressed, frustrated, empty, lonely, misunderstood, ready to commit suicide … you name it.
But there’s good news!
So what are the good news?
I’m very grateful that I struggled through and am now helping you get out of the rut AND live a waaayyy better life!
I’m here to help you build, create and live a meaningful life that’s just right for you.
So what’s the catch?
Well, there is no catch… Except that YOU need to decide what a meaningful life looks like FOR YOU.
Ready?
Ok, let’s roll.
You’re Seeking Meaning
In order to create and, eventually, live a meaningful life you need to have a VISION that goes far beyond your current circumstances and the person you’re right now.
You may ask yourself why?
Because you can achieve anything you set your mind on.
How?
The ‘How’ isn’t important. It’s important that you know where you’re going. You got to know your destination.
We’re covering the vision part in more detail at Highly Sensitive Academy as well as in an upcoming episode.
FOR NOW we focus on what YOU can do when you’re feeling empty inside yourself.
And that’s why I’ve created this video here for you.
Subscribe to my YouTube channel, so you don’t miss out any upcoming episodes!
Download the podcast episode via iTunes here.
SUMMARY
- Feeling empty is simply feedback telling you that you’re currently not doing what you’re supposed to do… you LACK meaning in your life.
- Know that you’re here for a reason. You matter! You’re here to live a meaningful life, make your unique contribution & difference and to be of service to other people!
- Love yourself! You don’t need permission from anybody out there BUT yourself. Give to yourself and other people what you’d like them to give you. Example: If it’s LOVE, give honest appreciation, make compliments, hug sb … without expecting anything in return for it.
- Have role models & seek the support of like-minded people (e.g. HSP Forums, meetups)
- Develop a positive perspective and outlook on life (faith, gratitude, appreciation)
- KEEP ON GROWING! Invest in yourself. It’s the best investment you’ll ever make. Feed your brain with good stuff! Get better every single day (the only person you’re competing against is YOU. Period.)
- EXERCISE: CRAFT A VISION for (a) the person you want to become and (b) the lifestyle you want to live. DO IT NOW!
FROM THE VIDEO [FULL TRANSCRIPT]
Hey everybody it’s Mario here, and welcome you to this weekly episode.
And in THIS episode we’re actually covering 5 tips in order to get you out of a mental state where you just feeling empty, down and out, depressed, frustrated, thinking about committing suicide OR whatever other thing you can put in the blank … fill in the blank here.
Ehm, it’s actually … these are all these things I asked myself during a kind of phase in my life where I was just like … ah, I don’t really want to revisit that phase.
Let’s say it this way! ;-)
Ehm, but ONE thing you need to do … that’s the first thing before we come to any of the 5 tips I’m now sharing with you … is:
Be O.K. with the situation.
Just be O.K., just acknowledge it. Yeah?
“Right now I’m in a really deep frustrating, complicated situation … I’m thinking about committing suicide, or maybe not.” Yeah?
But just be clear on it. Yeah? That you are in that kind of situation. Too many people who are in a situation like this … and then they just say “Ah no it isn’t THAT bad. I’m fine.” or whatever…
“NO. You’re NOT fine. You have to break out of it!”
But before you can do that you need to be realistic in that phase and just tell yourself “Well right now I’m not feeling really good, I’m a bit depressed or I’m a bit thinking about maybe ending my life, yeah?”
So, you have to be completely clear on where you are right now.
And then you need to know that feeling empty or feeling depressed it’s just kind of a feedback mechanism that your body gives yourself, your mind, your soul … yeah … that something is wrong with you.
Yeah, not that something is wrong with you… SORRY FOR THAT … No, that something with your life is wrong. Yeah?
You’re alright, but something in your life is NOT how it is supposed to be.
And maybe, you’re just in the wrong job. Or maybe, you are not in the health … ehm … yeah, not in the physical condition where you would like to be. Maybe, you don’t have the people in your life you would like to have … yeah?
And once you’re clear on what it is that really drags you down … yeah for me, for example, back then it was just like I was feeling something’s wrong with me. And –unfortunately– I hadn’t had the people in my life I needed in order to just … yeah, support myself.
So, I was quite lucky that I motivated myself, I listened to great music, I was also really fortunate that somehow I had that kind of mentality where I just told myself “Well.. I have to be here on earth for a reason.”
And that has also to be the first thing you need to acknowledge.
The first tips is: ACKNOWLEDGE YOURSELF.
Yeah?
Know that you matter.
You need to know –and not only know but to REALLY KNOW– that you. are. here. to. make. a. difference.
You’re here for a reason.
That’s not something I just tell you. “Yeah, you know you’re here for a reason and blah blah.” No … when you’re really honest with yourself, when you’re right now just thinking about:
“Well, if I’m really honest WHY am I here?” And you really contemplate about “WHY am I here?” instead of thinking like “WHY should I NOT be here?” (and commit suicide or whatever…)
If you just think “Why am I in this position right now?”
If you think about it, you come to the conclusion that it has to be for a DEEPER REASON and maybe –up to now– you haven’t figured it out yet… that’s completely fine…
…Most of the people who are in a depressive or in an ‘empty feeling state’ or feeling completely down and out … most of them don’t really know WHY.
And you … you really have to have the faith in yourself, in your whole life, in your whole abilities that where you are right now… it is for a reason.
And then the second thing is to LOVE YOURSELF.
To really love yourself. Because –trust me– (if you’re not loving yourself … or wait …) if you love yourself, it’s quite HARD actually to be in a depressive state.
Isn’t it?
Because if you really acknowledge yourself and you know everything I need is within me ALREADY. I ALREADY have all the things that I need.
And I can give them to me.
I don’t anybody else out there OR I don’t need –for example– my spouse to tell me that I’m great. Yeah, I can tell it to myself.
Or I don’t need that compliment from a person that I’m looking pretty or that I’m successful or that I earn enough money … or whatever.
No. You set your own standards. That’s so important.
And set HIGH STANDARDS for yourself.
Just tell yourself “I’m loving myself that’s why I have these high standards in my life.”
And once you have them or your create a real vision for yourself. I think that’s the most important thing, but I wanted to talk about it after these five tips, so … but as we’re now talking about it, so:
Crafting a vision for yourself… it’s absolutely important and then you also see that you DON’T NEED PERMISSION from anybody else to go out there and just make it happen…
…just create the life you want to live, to become the person you really want to become and you know you’re –deep inside yourself; what other people or even myself call– your best & most authentic self.
And –by the way– in order to get from others what you want to get like, for example, you get to know someone new and the first thought that pops into your mind is like “What can I get from them? Maybe they could help me with figuring out X. Or maybe they could help me figuring out how to get more love.” …or whatever.
Instead of thinking that way it always pays tenfold if you just go there and then, once you interact with a new person, just think “What does that person maybe need?” You just go there and then say “Hey, how can I help you?”
Or, you even give them –for example– a compliment; and the probability is quite high that (maybe not from that person, but from other people in your life) you get more compliments.
But, this is kind of spiritual stuff here, so
… that was not supposed to be in that video… a bit off topic, sorry for that …
…but let’s coming back to the third step or the third tip I can give you.
And it is to HAVE ROLE MODELS.
TO HAVE ROLE MODELS AND TO SEEK SUPPORT FROM OTHER PEOPLE.
And it can be quite daunting. I know it.
I mean not to have role models. That’s quite easy.
You just look like “What kind of person I can really identify myself with? What kind of person is someone I would really love to be in my future or to interact with or have as a friend? Or what kind of qualities do I like in other people…?” and just say “Hey, this one person is so great … at that skill, for example, I want to be like him or her.”
…And then in your own way
But to go out there and, then, seeking support from people.
Ehm, in the case that you don’t have people yet that are supporting you… can be quite hard, but with the idea I just gave you in the previous tip with going out there and asking people like how you can help them… the probability –as we said here– is way higher to get these people as new friends or acquaintances … that can introduce you to other people or do any other favor … if you introduce yourself in a way that you just ask them:
“Hey, how can I help YOU?”
And the second benefit with it is not only that you might get great people, but it’s also about this kind of mental attitude: Where you focus on.
You may have heard it like ‘where focus goes energy flows’.
And it’s the same thing when you just focus yourself on how can I help this person, you’re not focusing on your problems right now… or your depressive state that was there.
You’re more looking like “Hey, how can I really help this person?”
And just from this one thought your whole life can transform – nearly immediately.
You can just try it out today, or if it’s in the evening you’re watching this or listening to it… do it tomorrow.
BUT DO IT!
Go out there. There are lot of events in your city I guess, or there’re people you can ask who can introduce you to others.
And always have this kind of mental attitude “how can I help you?” or “what can I do for you in order to, yeah, help you?” … and then you get it back –as I said before, I’m not sure if you can say tenfold or hundredfold– but you’ll get it back for sure.
And that was the third tip, which was really about seeking other people.
Ah, ONE thing before we come to the forth tip:
There’re –nowadays– also so many great online opportunities.
You can just type on google… just type it in like whatever kind of people you would like to have.
If it’s, for example, you love to have people who are really deep into personal development or into spiritual growth, you can just type in “spirituality forum” (Google → “Spirituality forum”) or you put in like “personal development forum” … and you get tons and tons of sites, where you can just go there and register and just, yeah, meet like-minded people. It’s so important.
And then the forth thing is DEVELOP A REALLY POSITIVE OUTLOOK ON LIFE.
Have faith, and appreciate everything in your life.
It’s quite of interesting for me, but once I just switched from looking at the negative and at the problems and whatever, and then looking at the positive stuff and the solutions how I can fix my problems …
…everything became really easy.
Because, now, my mind was constantly working on like ‘how can you improve your situation? What’s the kind of thing I learned from this and can apply next time?’
When I, for example, messed up in public … on numerous days I was just like talking to attractive females in the streets … just to improve my self-confidence when it came to approaching women –we’re talking about really beautiful women– and in this kind it was just like fun.
In the beginning I completely messed it up man, I completely messed it up.
But instead of then saying “Oh Mario, you’re so stupid and you’re dumb and no never do this again!”
I was not this kind.
I was just like thinking “Well… what can I learn from this one interaction where I just messed it up in a certain way or ‘failed’ – in the eyes of other people. But what can I learn from this situation and apply next time or improve next time in order to get better results?”
And once I adopted this mindset everything changed, everything shifted … everything changed …
I became much more grateful on all the little and the big things that were already in my life or that happened in my past. And also for the future I visualized a great future for myself.
And without the mental preparation first … that you know like “When I take action I actually can accomplish these great things I want to have” …
… and, instead, just go out there and ‘take massive action’
… and you DON’T have a vision where you’re going …
…Guess what?
If you don’t know what your destination is … you can do a lot of great actions … but you will NEVER get there.
And the last one … Now with the last and final tip, it all comes together I think. Because the last tip is just about KEEP ON GROWING.
Invest in yourself. Understand that … look…
Earning money is great. Having all these material things you’d like…
GREAT! …
But the biggest investment is NOT in your house – it’s in YOURSELF.
Because: the things you invest in yourself, so your education and all these things you learn and apply, and the SKILLS you form and the BELIEFS and the HABITS…
…these are things that are there. THEY ARE IN PLACE.
And that’s, by the way, one of the reasons why you see people like Donald Trump, for example, who –nowadays– is a billionaire.
But when he started, he started from … LITERALLY … NOTHING…
…Became a billionaire, crashed … was about 1 BILLION DOLLARS IN DEBT …
…AND then coming back 2 years later (or 3 or whatever) and DOUBLED his income.
That’s just possible when you invest in yourself.
You keep on growing, you keep on learning new things every single day, you do it on a consistent basis and you combine it with having first a vision in place, then taking the daily actions towards that vision … and you can do it on every level you want to.
But in this video I just wanted to show you how you can get out of … or what should you really do when you feel completely empty inside.
And to break it down now for you, it really is this one:
The five tips I shared with you PLUS having a BIG VISION and then taking daily actions towards it.
So, if you right now in a place where you’re down and out … you really don’t know “What should be my vision. Yeah I’m just completely frustrated and everything collapsed, I lost my job and this happened and that happened … ”
And I KNOW … I understand you completely.
I know how it feels … when it seems like nothing, REALLY NOTHING, seems to work.
And EVERYTHING, THE WHOLE WORLD, seems to be against you.
You have terrible people in your life, your job is miserable, or as I said, you lost your job, … you’ve completely NO DIRECTION …
…AND then it’s still SO important to just understand –and therefore I highly recommend you watch this video here again or you listen to the podcast episode again–
… to just look at the five tips I shared with you … and then look like “how can I apply them in my own life? What do I really need to do? What do I really need to focus on?”
Because for some people it’s that everything … or a lot of things are good … BUT their relationships collapsed … OR their job collapsed, so their work life … OR something with their health was not really working well …
So, what I mean is just … it’s ALWAYS JUST ONE AREA OF YOUR LIFE THAT REALLY SUCKS IF YOU FEEL DEPRESSED.
All other areas are great, but it’s about the FOCUS – as we said before.
Either you can focus on a negative thing that’s just not working right now and to become completely obsessed with it and completely depressed … OR … you can focus on all the things that are ALREADY GREAT.
And … use this in order to think like “Well… a lot of things are working quite O.K. in my life… I just need to figure out this ONE.”
And then you focus on the ONE area of your life, that’s the biggest issue at the moment for you, you craft a vision how your dream … how that area would look like in your wildest dreams … and then you go, you do something, you break it down and you do something daily in order to better your situation.
And once you do this every single day, what you’ll find is that you not only reach your vision, but –most probably– you break through that vision and accomplish something you never thought possible.
