http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIgfoJs7JQQ
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SUMMARY
HATE selling? I did, for sure! Mentioning that word got me imagining the stereotypical salesperson at my local retail store who was annoying as hell. We all have had this experience, right? Nowadays, I look at it very differently. My perspective on sales & marketing has actually changed 180° – as well as my life. How? Here’s the truth about Sales and Marketing and how it relates to YOUR life …
Let’s first start off with a BIG myth:
1.) Highly Sensitive People Aren’t Good At Sales
It’s said that you need to be outgoing, talkative, … that’s B.S.
Others say that it’s evil to sell … guess what? Yep, that’s B.S. – Belief System and Bullshit
We think of the stereotypical salesperson next door when we hear the word “selling”, but –in reality– no one needs to do hard sales at all. It’s not about tricking people into selling something they don’t want and need; it turns out that the reverse is true! Which brings us to the next point:
2.) Selling Is ALL About Relating And Communicating
You got to REALLY understand other people’s buying psychology. What makes them tick? What do they need? I wouldn’t be transparent if I said it’s not about Persuasion, but the thing with persuasion is: It only works when you really understand your customer, and have what they need. Why? Because you may have what they need, they want it, you know it would change their life, but they’re afraid they can’t afford it. So, your job is to help them understand why they can’t afford to NOT afford it. Understand other people from the heart, understand with empathy. These are all HUGE strengths of highly sensitive people, by the way! Finally, you got to relate to them in terms of their highest values, desires and / or needs! You’ll win anytime! Which means …
3.) Be A Good Listener (Or: Listen MORE and talk LESS)
REALLY listen, be present, and than respond on what they’ve just said. You can, for example, express your own opinion on the topic by appreciating their point of view FIRST. You don’t need to agree with them! You need to appreciate their opinion. (Watch the video for more details.) At first, it was hard for me to listen more than I talked even though I’m an introvert. Why? Because society keeps on telling us that we have to talk more, be outgoing, outrageous … But how does it really look like? Watch the video, so you learn why the highly sensitive introvert won against the non highly sensitive extrovert! (Hint: They tend to be better listeners. But that’s just one point.) That, by the way, doesn’t mean you can’t succeed as an extrovert. It simply comes more natural to the introvert and to highly sensitive people, but like any other skill: It is learnable and it isn’t everything. But everything starts with being a good listener.
4.) Selling Is Part Of Everyday Life
Even if you’re not in a sales or marketing position, or run your own business … see the correlation to your own life as the following: First, you’re always selling ONE thing: It’s YOU. You are selling yourself to the world in the way you show up. So, decide to show up as your most authentic self. Choose to be your best self today. Second: In essence, people are buying from you because they like and trust you. If the initial trust isn’t there they won’t buy. Period. Third, they are buying either you or something you portrait: your enthusiasm, your character, your ability to lead, your empathy…
5.) Holistic Approach To Sales And Marketing:
While many people believe it’s bad to sell, I believe that couldn’t be further away from the truth! (If done correctly and with integrity, of course!) Listen EMPATHETICALLY, look for ways to connecting and making the links CREATIVELY and INTUITIVELY. Now, people trust you. They know that you’ve their best interests at heart. This implies you yourself have integrity, do good, and ONLY sell something you stand behind 100%. Even though you’re naturally good at these things, make a commitment and develop your sales and marketing skills on a CONSISTENT BASIS. Why? Because they’re one of the most important skills that you can master in your whole life! No big deal. You love to learn anyway. See it as a way to do good and spread your message or product/service. It’s also good because it helps you fully express yourself. And, finally, YOUR EFFORT and what you’re offering deserves to make a BIG difference in other people’s lives! Learn what it takes to spread the word. I do it myself.
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[Sales & Marketing] Who Wins In A Fight: The HSP Introvert Or The Non-HSP Extrovert?
FULL TRANSCRIPT
[Sales & Marketing] Who Wins In A Fight: The HSP Introvert Or The Non-HSP Extrovert?
“Hey everybody, it’s Mario here … and welcome you to a special episode of ‘The Highly Sensitive Journey’ for today.
So, why is it special? Well because … today it’s the first show ever which I’m doing WITHOUT ANY NOTES … AT ALL.
There’re NO notes in front of me; usually, I keep there a kind of spreadsheet with like 3-5 words … just in order for me to guide you through it in a more fluid way.
But today I –being honest with you– I didn’t have the time to prepare it, because something’s popped up AND … as I see right now … I only have 20 minutes left until I have to leave the house and go do these kind of appointments!
But, right now, I really want to serve you.
And so I thought about it “Whoo… What can I present to you for today? What can I share with you? What kind of insights I got?”
And: What popped into my mind was an article I read recently on another site about highly sensitive people.
And it was about what’s the perfect career, ah not perfect career – by the way I did a blog post about it, NO it was ‘what are good careers for highly sensitive people?’ and …
…What I remember right now is:
It was about, it was said that highly sensitive people are not good at sales. They are not good at it; not that they suck, but that it’s something that comes not natural to them. Yeah? They are not so outgoing, outrageous … they don’t like to, yeah, express all these “qualities” the so-called salesperson has… and …
Well, coming from a marketing & sales background myself, because I’m actually still involved with a Network Marketing company as their distributor … BUT I don’t do it actively.
What I mean is:
I like to share the products with people who come to me and ask me about it, or if they have any kind of problems and I see I can help them.
I just recommend them.
But I’m not someone who’s really actively now building their “MLM business” – Network Marketing business.
No, what I’m doing, instead, is –as I said before– just sharing when someone comes across me and they want any help about, for example, health related issues I can guide them in a certain way or just recommend things …
…But I’m not doing hard sales AT ALL!
So, what that means is:
As I’m not doing hard selling –what this kind of … what many people think sales are– you see … or I think I have a different perspective and I can give a different perspective on what marketing and sales actually is.
And, breaking it down now for you … what it actually is … it is about RELATING, it’s about COMMUNICATING.
Of course, in some ways it’s about PERSUASION, but it’s much more about HOW you are able to, yeah, be really getting into the mind and into the head … err, sorry yeah getting into the mind of your customer. Or of another person…
…To really EMPATHIZE with them. Yeah?
To understand with EMPATHY. To understand them with EMPATHY.
And, once you get that … that selling is not about:
“Hey you’re going to buy right now! And if you buy you get (I don’t know) three bonuses…”
I know this is kind of … you can see on television, you see it on the Internet, and it also WORKS.
But … it would NOT work … if the product you’re about to offer or the service … is something that the customer can’t relate to.
Yeah? It’s about RELATING, it’s about COMMUNICATING in terms of the other person’s values and/or needs.
And, NOW, coming back to the main topic, err headline, of this video: “Who’s Going To Win The Fight: The Highly Sensitive Introvert (The HSP Introvert) Or The Non Highly Sensitive Extrovert?” …
…and, I know, with this I’m generalizing A LOT here … and it’s not really the truth, because …
…With the generalizations you’re going so much all over place because you’re just contrasting like black and white.
And I NOW just do it for ONE purpose:
Because I want to show you that selling has nothing, NOTHING … REALLY NOTHING to do with being a salesperson.
What does it mean?
So, if we now play this fight … if I now let the highly sensitive introvert fight against the non highly sensitive extrovert…
…What’s going to happen?
Well, first I think as an end result, the highly sensitive introvert gets waaayyy better results – when it comes to how many products are they going to sell (so how many units), what kind of quality they’re going to deliver in the first place (if they’re allowed to develop the product themselves) …
…and I’m not going into much of entrepreneurialism or business here at all.
I just want to tell you … um … that actually breaking it down:
Selling is a part of everyday life.
And I now might go a bit all over the place here, but what I want to tell you is that IF RIGHT NOW by watching or listening to this here you don’t get the correlation to YOUR OWN LIFE …
…like you don’t see like “Hey Mario, what are you talking about? I DON’T really need sales! Yeah, I’m NOT in a selling position! I DON’T really want it!” …
…There’s ONE thing you’re always selling – by the way.
ONE thing, at least.
And: It’s YOU. It’s YOU.
Yeah?
Every day you’re presenting yourself in a certain way.
So, my advice here would be, of course: “Choose your most authentic self. Be your best self.”
And that’s something I’m going to do after shooting this video, because actually I really have to leave in a few minutes … so, keeping it short here:
It’s about selling yourself.
It’s the first thing.
If, you can have … Let’s say it this way:
You can have a great product, you can have (if you’re in network marketing) the best compensation plan, the best … um … management in the business, the best .. uh I don’t know whatever …
There’s something … people will say “Hey this is great, this is great, this is great!”
Yeah, but if I see I don’t like you (for example), because you’re not … you’re lying or you don’t have integrity … or you say something I REALLY DON’T confirm with …
…I WON’T do business with you.
Or I DON’T want to have a relationship with you.
Or I DON’T want to be related to you in ANY kind of way.
So, it’s all about YOU.
How YOU relate to others.
They’re, most of the time, not buying the product, they’re buying either YOU, or YOUR vision, or YOUR enthusiasm, or YOUR empathy, or whatever.
And why now, look, why would the highly sensitive introvert win the fight against the non highly sensitive extrovert? (Wow, kind of weird terms here…)
But WHY would … the highly sensitive people person with their strengths … WHY would they win?
Well… because, first of all, highly sensitive people and especially the introverted version of them (which are 70% [of all HSP]), they are (in general; as you know I’m generalizing here…) listening MORE and talk LESS.
I know it might be a bit paradox here, because me myself I’m a highly sensitive introvert (an INFJ if you’re familiar with the Myers-Briggs test…) and well …
…I’m talking here 100%, you’re listening –hopefully– with 100%.
So, usually … you know, I just do it because I’m going to teach you something here. But when I’m in a conversation … I just want to emphasize myself because I don’t like the people who are just talking the talk and never walking the walk, you know? … So, just to illustrate it here:
When I’m in a conversation with someone, or back in times that’s maybe a bit better example, when I was really actively involved in network marketing and it was my primary job, you know, I was always trying to listen MORE than I was talking.
And in the beginning it was HARD for me!
Although I’m an introvert …
But society tells us “You have to talk more, you have to be outgoing, you have to be outrageous!” …
…But if you look at the results (“Who’s going to make the sale?”, “Who’s going to deliver more value?”, “Who’s more likeable?”), it’s always the person who is listening MORE and talking LESS.
And there’s another idea I want to give you here, or it’s more of a strategy actually that’s really helping you get better results:
It’s while you’re listening, REALLY listen.
Not like:
“Oh yeah, I’m listening and I’m just thinking ‘What could I say next’ … ”
NO!
You’re just listening FULLY. What’s the person RIGHT NOW saying – in this present moment? You just get it and, then, when you’re answering … you’re not just saying something that’s unrelated … you see like “Hey, how can I use the information I just got (or the insight) from the other person … yeah, use it.”
“So, for example, express my own opinion on it. And then give it back to them.”
So, just a really good example here (before finishing of the video) is, when this person, for example, tells me:
“Hey, when I first got started in my business I was really in the wrong mindset. I was always just thinking I had to go out there and talk to people a lot, and yeah be cheerful and outgoing and so on… But later on I found out it’s much more about me just shutting up … just don’t say a word. Just listening and, then, yeah … saying something.”
And when this person would talk to me in that way, I would then say:
“Hey, you know what? [So then the name of the person], that’s great! I also remember when I was in that situation that in the first times I just did it I completely messed it up, because I was talking all over the place. And you’re so right in that aspect that listening is much more important. What do you think about … what do you think about marketing? (For example)”
And then, I would change the topic a bit from sales to marketing.
But this is just kind of an idea how you can use the listening skills and getting better at it.
And this is also a good idea if you’re an extrovert.
Yeah, you can use these kind of principles. These are just things that are more natural to the highly sensitive introvert, but you can also use it in your own life.
You just have to apply the listening skills, and of course listening isn’t everything.
But when you listen with EMPATHY, when you’re looking for solutions or trying to make that link to whatever you’re selling… so, for example, you see:
“Hey, that person has a need in this kind of area, and my product is going to … is REALLY able to solve that need!”
Then, you use YOUR CREATIVITY in order to combine it.
And, if you know my work or whatever I’m going to share with you in some kind of videos…
…You know that I’m always talking also about intuitive … or INTUITION … intuitive skills.
And, what I mean is just:
I think creativity, empathy, intuition –these three pillars– putting them together and using them in every way you do … when you’re interacting with other people, or in your professional also in your personal life, you’re going to be much more likeable for the other person, they’re going to TRUST you much more, and even as I said right now highly sensitive people win the fight when it comes to “who’s better at sales and marketing”; of course, it also means you gotta develop that skill – on a CONSISTENT BASIS.
And even if it’s just for you to just FULLY express yourself and yeah getting better along with other people.
It’s so vitally important.
And, right now, I promise you:
I’m going to write the blog article about this video here … probably tomorrow, and I’m going to write it in a more structured way. So, hopefully, that will put all the information I now just gave you in EVEN BETTER WAY.
Because, I think I went a bit all over the place – from here to there and then to there.
And if it’s a bit distracting for you, hopefully you stayed with me here because below the video I’m going to put a link to the blog post, which you can just click.
And then it’s NOT going to be a really long blog post, but it’s going to break it all down into short action steps that you can take TODAY in order for you to get better at marketing and sales … and to REALLY understand that these skills –like it or not– … they are the ones who determine your overall success.
And you can achieve happiness WITHOUT sales and marketing.
To my mind, you don’t really need to be so good at marketing if it’s just about happiness.
I think we can choose to be happy today. We can choose to feel good every single moment. We just have to decide.
But, in order to have sustainable success and to REALLY making the best of our lives AND serve and NOT being depended on anyone else for our income and for leaving a legacy, … it’s ALL about marketing and sales.
And IF you have a great product, that’s even more important for you, because YOUR PRODUCT and YOUR SERVICE and ALL the energy and time and money YOU put into the creation of it … they deserve to get spread all over the planet, to reach more people, and to make a BIG difference in other people’s lives!
Thank you so much for listening or watching this video here, and we see each other very soon next week … make sure to read the blog post as well, because it gives you much more an overview about everything I said PLUS action steps AND we see each other very soon, have a great day and see you soon!
