The following Steps to Building Confidence and Self Esteem show you how to boost your confidence and live life on your terms.

First of all, let me ask you:

“Why do you want to be more confidence?”
“What’s your motivation behind that decision?”
In other words: “What’s your reason to CHANGE?”

Is it to have control of your life, act the way you want to in social situations, overcome obstacles and challenges? Or is it something completely different?

Whatever it may be, you’ve come to a good place to get involved and to learn the steps necessary to building confidence and self esteem authentically.

Me, personally, I didn’t accept responsibility for my own life nor did I take control… for a long time.

For a long time, I thought life was just happening to me, and some people are simply luckier than others.

Boy was I wrong!

It took some time until I realized that it were my thoughts and actions that’d determined my life. And this’ll always be the case.. so I made the conscious decision to develop myself and embraced change!

When it comes to personal development, I truly believe that there’s nothing more powerful than building confidence and self-esteem first.

BUT ISN’T THERE SOMETHING THAT COMES BEFORE SELF IMPROVEMENT?

 

Yeah, that’s right – Self-awareness and self-acceptance.

In order to really improve yourself, you need to know and accept yourself first.
That’s essential.

 

5 STEPS TO BUILDING
CONFIDENCE AND SELF-ESTEEM

 

 

STEP I
Be GRATEFUL, PRESENT, POSITIVE, and FOCUS on Your Strengths

 

• Gratitude

  

  Being in a constant state of gratitude or having an “attitude of gratitude” sounds very difficult to realize, especially in our modern world with challenges and problems everywhere.

  However, as we’re surrounded by challenges anyway, why not embrace them and grow personally?

  As Dr.John Demartini said: “(…) if you don’t fill your day with activities that inspire you, it will fill up with activities that don’t.”

  Remember that there’s always a solution to a common problem.
  And gratitude is the first step to find the right solution to any problem.

  This might sound weird, but being grateful for insurmountably seeming challenges helps you tremendously to overcome them.

  As a result, your self-confidence increases.
  Embrace the challenges in your life and be grateful for them!

  And here’s another reason why:

  The more time you focus on the solution and not the problem, the more time you focus on being grateful instead of cursing everything and everyone for things you have no control of…

  …the earlier you’ll see the magic happen in your life.

  I discovered these principles first by watching “The Secret”. Later on,
  I started reading biographies of successful people as well as books by inspirational authors I could really relate to personally.

  The power of gratitude is mentioned in almost every book I’ve read.

  What I’m nowadays doing to make sure that I’m acting with an attitude
  of gratitude is the following:

  Each morning, I grab my “gratitude journal”, which is in my case a traditional notepad (it can also be a piece of paper, diary, …) and I write down 10 things I’m grateful for. This includes everything that comes into my mind.

  After I’ve written down my 10 blessings, I take my time, repeat each blessing out loud and really FEEL the positive vibration. The positive feeling is the most important part here.

  Then, I finish each blessing with the words “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

  [For more information on this exercise, check out “The Magic” by R. Byrne]

  Do this exercise and see the law of attraction working for you!

  However, gratitude alone won’t bring you your desired results.
  There’re a few other things that are mandatory, and we’re going to
  cover them now:

• Live in the Present Moment

  
  To be present during the day is very important if you want to become more confident. Why?

  Well, first you’ve to understand that by being present you can’t be fearful.

  It’s psychologically impossible to be completely present and have fear at the same time.

  IF you’re present, you only concentrate on what is actually
  happening in the very moment.

  Imagine, you see an attractive person of the opposite sex right in front of you. You decide to go to that person and start a conversation.. If you’re now feeling awkward and/or fearful, why is this the case?

  1. You focus on a possible outcome and assume that the woman/man might reject you. Then, your mind creates a fantasy in order to “save” you from danger. [You focus on the future]

  OR

  2. You experienced a similar situation somewhere before in your past and assume that the exact same thing is happening again.
  [You focus on the past]

  Because of that you react with a fight or flight response.

  In both cases you’re following your instincts, which’s usually a good thing.

  This example shows that it’s also important to re-consider past experiences and possible outcomes because you don’t want to do the same mistakes all over again.

  The issue is that assumptions and past experiences can potentially steal your dreams because they may trick you and aren’t real.

  If you’re present, however, you also tend to focus on the other person, which helps you to feel less insecure about yourself. By being present, you also feel more relaxed and balanced.

  You make clear decisions, are more confident and happy.

  What I’m recommending everyone is to meditate.

  Because it’s scientifically proven that meditation releases endorphins and other positive stuff into your body and soul, it’s very powerful.

  The easiest way to meditate is to set some quiet time for you aside,
  close your eyes and deeply breathe in and out.

  While doing so, concentrate on your breath only.
  If you get distracted, don’t be harsh on yourself. Just gently come back to the present moment and focus on your breath again.

  It takes some time to get used to it, but if you do this regularly, you see the benefits very soon.

• Positivity

  For this one, I use affirmations respectively declarations daily.

  Words are very powerful!

  Therefore, positive messages are priceless. They work extremely well.

  Here’s an example to boost, for instance, your money consciousness:

  If you want to have more money in your life, you must get rid of lack programming like this:

  “Money is evil!”
  “Money doesn’t grow on trees!”
  “Rich people are greedy!”
  …

  Many of us have been programmed that way, including myself. I’ve been a big saver throughout my life, which led to low self-worth and self-esteem.

  Fortunately, affirmations help people like you and me solve this problem.

  Do you know people (or maybe yourself) who need someone else to reveal their strengths and talents because they don’t appreciate their gifts?
  Because most of us don’t always believe in themselves before someone else tells them, affirmations may need to be tweaked a bit to be accepted.

  ---

  – Creating Powerful Affirmations –

  According to my personal experience there’re 3 methods of creating powerful affirmations for yourself:

  I. “I-AFFIRMATIONS” may be rejected from your subconscious mind, especially if very low self-esteem and non-supportive environment.

  Example: “I’m an excellent money manager.”, “I always pay myself first.”

  II. “Y-AFFIRMATIONS” make your subconscious mind think about it, and find reasons why you’re good with money.

  Example: “Why am I an excellent money manager?”, “Why do I always pay myself first?”

  III. “REVERSE AFFIRMATIONS” trick your subconscious mind into believing that someone else made this statement about you. Because it seems to be from someone else, it’s way more likely to be accepted by yourself.

  Example: “You think that I’m an excellent money manager.”, “You know that I always pay myself first.”

  ---

   

  What method you choose depends on what works for you best and what you prefer.

  No matter what, write down 10 sentences and speak them out loud in the morning, after you’ve done your “gratitude praise” (10 blessings), have meditated and visualized (Visualization is STEP II).

  I’m currently working on my money consciousness, but if you want to get some affirmative ideas to get started with, click here.

• Focus on Your Strengths

  To maintain and improve focus, gratitude and meditation are crucial concepts.

  In this section, I just want to quickly stress the importance of knowing and applying your strengths instead of consistently diminishing your weaknesses.

  Everyone is unique and different from each other.
  That means that everyone has got unique gifts and talents.

  Knowing your strengths is the short cut to success.

  When I started out MLM, I was constantly talking with strangers, making a lot of friends (many quality ones, which has been positive), and marketing my business offline.

  However, I realized that my strengths – as an introvert – were writing and spending less time with big groups of people and more time with quality people.

  I couldn’t see myself doing hotel & home meetings or getting cold calling leads on the phone all my life long because I need to connect with people on a deeper level to really help them.

  Luckily, I listened to my intuition, researched the Internet and found out how to apply my strengths like writing (blogging). Now, I reach out to the right kind of people to network and do business together.

  My advice to you: Before starting your own MLM business, or in case that you’re already in an MLM “biz opp”:

  Take a step back, reflect yourself and review your actions.
  Ask yourself: “Is the lifestyle I’m currently living and the way I’m doing (or I’m about to do) business truly satisfying me for rest of my life?”

  That doesn’t mean that you should give up when there’re some difficulties. Never let something like that kill your spirit and motivation!

  It’s more about your strategy itself. All ways lead to Rome, so choose the one that fits your personality best.

  If you’re not sure who you really are, here’s a very accurate test for FREE.
  It shows you your strengths and weaknesses, friendships and romantic relationships, and much more.

  I thought that I knew myself quiet well and usually don’t like anonymous tests filling in a questionnaire, but this test really helped me to understand myself and my needs much better.

STEP II
Be VISIONARY

 

In other words, have a big VISION and go for it!

This might sound bold and unrealistic, but being realistic all the time wouldn’t have led us human beings where we’re right now.

Think of the Wright Brothers and their dream of flying, Steve Jobs founding Apple in his parents’ garage, Donald Trump building multi-billion dollar businesses, Thomas Edison failing 10,000 times to invent the light bulb, Albert Einstein, people like Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr., and many more.
They all have one specific thing in common:

It’s their desire to realize their vision.

But what has “having a vision” to do with increased self-confidence?

Well, having a vision in life can give you optimism, and something to go after.
If you’re truly inspired by your vision, your worries about other people’s opinions become way less important than they did before.

Because, now, you’ve something that’s really important and BIGGER THAN YOU. In the course of time, your confidence and self-esteem will increase exponentially.

STEP III
Passion and Live Life on PURPOSE

 

Put simply, in order to live life on purpose, you need to find your purpose. I know that this sounds pretty logical..and it’s not helpful at all. Find out your passion! That’s another one..

The first time I found out that my true purpose in life has been to help other people become the best version of themselves and live an authentic life by developing myself personally to impact and inspire more people was when I heard about Dr. John Demartini’s highest value concept.

It’s quiet simple:

Whatever is highest on your values, is your highest value. So far, so good.
Now: What’s highest on your values is important to you.

What’re the moments in your life when you didn’t need outside motivation to be fired up? When you got to work immediately because you were so inspired from within that you had no other choice, but to get things done?
Have you ever felt that way? If not, no worries!

Our educational systems are more concerned with developing people to work as employees than teaching you how to become an entrepreneur and live life passionately on purpose.

Less than a year ago, I had no idea what my purpose was. I only knew that I wanted to find it out and learn new things.

Here’re a few suggestions that helped me personally to find my purpose in life:

• Change your environment (people; perhaps even location)
• Step out of your comfort zone & act in spite of fear
• Act as if you’re already where you want to be
• Be open to new ideas & try out new things (events, sports, musical instrument, read books, photography, research on topics like health, business, …)
• Have fun, life’s a journey!
• Apply the steps to build confidence and self-esteem presented in this article :)

If you’ve already found your highest value, congratulations!
You’ve got your purpose in life!

STEP IV
Take Daily Action and Never Give Up

 

Here, you need to balance necessary actions you must do today with the ones that force you to step out of your comfort zone.

You need to fill your day with actions that inspire you and bring you forward towards your dreams.

Do something every day that helps you grow personally.
Face your fears by doing something that’s not comfortable.

This might scare you at first like it did for me, but when you face the situations with the right mindset and, eventually, reap the rewards, you’ll be very happy to have sacrificed something temporarily.

And it doesn’t end there :) Make yourself feeling comfortable being uncomfortable. Form new, productive success habits!

This’ll make the difference between the ones building authentic self-esteem and the ones merely “giving it a try”..and never improving.

According to Darren Hardy, publisher of SUCCESS Magazine, it takes up to 3 weeks of daily exercise to manifest a new habit.

So, don’t expect immediate changes overnight, but keep going!

Darren Hardy’s book “The Compound Effect” opened my eyes for the phenomenon that even Albert Einstein called “the eighth wonder of the world“.

So, be inspired by your WHY, passion, purpose, highest value,… whatever you want to call it! :) And do something every single day because every action is compounding over time and materializing your WHY.

Use this knowledge to get where you want to go instead of staying where you don’t want to be!

STEP V
Surround Yourself with Positive People + Find a Mentor

 

Last but not least, surround yourself with the right people. You’re literally the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

Therefore, either find the right people NOW or do what I did before I was fortunate to find my group of like-minded friends:

Choose your role models and get inspired by them daily.
There’re a lot of inspirational and motivational speakers around, read their books, listen to their tapes, and/or attend their seminars.

You’ll adopt their mindset, and that’s very important.
Mindset is often the primary reason why some people make major things happen, while others just talk and never deliver. I believe in you to achieve greatness!

To fast-track your journey to success, find a supportive group of people and a mentor that guides you along the way. MLM / Network Marketing is an excellent platform to work with a supportive group of quality people and a mentor to develop yourself and become more confident. Why?
Because it’s a Personal Development business.

 

Did this blog article help you? If so, please comment below and share it on Facebook with your friends!

Mario M. Montreal
Empowering MLM Entrepreneurs

Image(s): FreeDigitalPhotos.net