Fuck…
If I knew this earlier, I’d be so much further ahead in life!
For me, “further” means living life on my terms (not further ahead in terms of climbing a ladder or showing off how great I am—not my cup of coffee as you know). True validation is self-validation from within.
It has been so heartbreaking to see myself crushing it in my peak hours of the day (afternoon, evening, and night time)… only to get crushed during daytime—I went online and asked “DocGog” (Google).
Thanks to this one Google search, I finally came across the term I’ve suffered from the majority of my life:
Morning depression.
The difference between MD (my very own abbreviation for morning depression) and normal depression (which I suffered from for seven years; 2007-2013) is that it only comes up in the morning. Throughout the day I’ve designed my life so I stay on track and motivated enough to get shit done.
I digress.
Here are a few symptoms¹:
- trouble waking up and getting out of bed in the morning
- a profound lack of energy when you start your day
- difficulty facing simple tasks, such as showering or making coffee
- delayed physical or cognitive functioning (“thinking through a fog”)
- inattentiveness or a lack of concentration
- intense agitation or frustration
- lack of interest in once-pleasurable activities
- feelings of emptiness
- changes in appetite (usually eating more or less than usual)
- hypersomnia (sleeping longer than normal)
Et cetera.
The cure?
According to research, you should reset your natural body clock.
The circadian rhythm, or natural body clock, regulates everything from heart rate to body temperature. It also affects energy, thinking, alertness, and mood. These daily rhythms help you keep a stable mood and stay in good health.²
How?
While the article from Healthline recommends you do medication/talk and light therapy/ECT; here’s my approach (knowing what I now know).
Cutting out everything from my life that doesn’t serve the purpose of living life the fucking way I want to.
This includes (in no specific order):
- Quitting porn
- Minimizing video games
- No binge-watching of TV series/YouTube videos any longer
- Going to bed earlier by scheduling a specific bedtime and sticking with it (plus avoiding blue light at night)
- Reducing alcohol/caffeine intake
Instead:
- Journaling more often
- Visualizing my goals and the painful process (embracing the struggle)
- Meditating daily
- Getting a gym membership and going to the gym 3 times a week
- Practicing gratitude again
- Having a bigger breakfast every single day(!)
- And some more….
It’s a lot.
Let’s see how it goes.
I’ll keep you updated.
¹ ² https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/morning-depression
